Byzance and the lone hill

I know what they were thinking. They were thinking “what could possibly be so nice all the way out there in Lonehill?”

Well, let’s just say that I told them so.

You see, I actually live in Lonehill. Which, if you’re not from Johannesburg, will most likely mean nothing to you. It’s a little far from the CBD is all. TZ and Mr. TZ happen to live pretty much in the CBD. It can make dinner arrangements awkward.

I always end up driving to their side (granted, I usually also crash in their guest room). So when I once suggested that they join me for dinner at Byzance, a classy Greek restaurant in Lonehill, I was immediately met with cries of “All the way out there!? No way!” and a hint of “Can’t be that great if it’s in Lonehill.” Snobs.

So, fine. I went with another friend. We’ll call her Barbie, shall we?

Barbie and I love Byzance. She lives even further out than I do, so it’s a great halfway meeting point (okay, it’s close for me).

To get to Byzance, you need to descend stone steps that are flanked by a trinkling waterfall (well, “watertrickle” made no sense). You feel as though you’re walking into the wine cellar of a castle in Europe.

In winter, there are cosy fires (in fireplaces obviously). The interior section of the restaurant is arranged in circular booths that fit up to 8 people at a bit of a squish. Each booth has its own chandelier and they are separated by discreet screens for privacy.

You could also choose to sit at a table in the bar, which is a bit noisier and warm in Winter.

In summer, they throw open the doors to the lake view. (Yip, there’s even a small lake. Take that, non-believers!)

Barbie and I love to meet just before sunset and sit outside on the stone patio overlooking the lake and the lone hill (the suburb had to be named after something). We sip Buitenverwachting Buiten Blanc and munch on deliciously hot triangles of pita bread and Aegean Tapenade (olives, capers and garlic – yum).

We then either get very hungry and order the Souvlaki, or we just order from their extensive Meze menu. My personal favourite is the beef ravioli thingys that we had last time. OMG. It was so good, I try not to think about it too much (too much drool).

As for TZ and Mr TZ: TZ saw a couple of photos and their menu online recently and is keen to do lunch there… Well, it’s a step toward dinner.

PS. The only thing I didn’t enjoy was my crème brulee. But that’s because there wasn’t enough of it!

Meet & Whine

by Tara-Zee

So this one time, Tilly and I had to go to a workshop in Pretoria. Yes, P-town. Tilly came through to my place at the crack of dawn (well 07h15 felt like it that day, as we hadn’t got up at the real crack of dawn for gym), we packed the car (you need to ensure that you have water and snacks for the long drive) and headed off to the executive capital city.

Workshop done, it was time for a pedi. We made our way to Brooklyn Design Square (not to be confused with the Design Quarter in Fourways) and had our toes transformed into a perfect 10. And then we were thirsty and craving something sweet. We stopped in at Lila’s bistro.

Our waiter: “I’m new here.”

Me: “So are we.”

Silence

Our waiter: “Can I get you something to drink?”

Me: “A mojito for Tilly” (she’s not big on sickly sweet cocktails), “and a cosmo for me.” (Mr T-Z and I have just finished watching the entire Sex and the City box set and I was reminded about how much I fancy cosmos.)

We decided we felt like more than they had on offer to eat, so drank up and did a little shopping before settling on MooMoo Wine Bar & Grill. Good choice, us. 

Hmm, what to drink? – Yay, they serve Fat Bastard by the glass (and in wine glasses – an improvement on the beer glasses at JD’s). 

What to eat? – Definitely a platter (remember, when you’re sharing, you’re halving the calories).

Me: “We’ll get the Meet & Snack platter to share.”

Our waitress: “For two, I assume.”

Perceptive, their staff is.

Man, that platter was good! Cubes of aged beef and sweet chilli chicken thighs on skewers, haloumi sticks, boerewors (and I’m not even a boerie fan) and shoestring fries. Served with cheese, peri-peri and sweet chilli sauces on the side.

Tilly: “So, how do they make cheese sauce?”

Me: “You start by melting butter, then add some flour and then-”

Tilly: “What?! Flour? Yuck. Cheese sauce should be made from cheese.”

Me: “Well yes, then you add milk and then the cheese.”

Tilly: “Flour? Really?”

Me: “So the sweet chilli sauce is good.” (I know I’m not going to get the flour out of her head.)

We finished off with another glass of FB and MooMoo’s chocolate volcano – melt in your mouth chocolate pudding served with ice cream – and their mini cinnamon rolls – nyom, nyom, nyom.

Satisfied, we raced off to The State Theatre to see The Nutcracker (which was followed by more dining, but that’s for another time). Overall, a lovely experience and great to know that such good eating establishments with great service exist in the capital; eating establishments that agree that fine food and wine should not be reserved for special occasions.

Wine, pannacotta and the 'umbrella incident'

by Tilly

When it comes to wine, I have a top three. These three wines are the wines that I always look for on a menu. Here is my top three in no particular order of preference:

Haute Cabrière Chardonnay Pinot Noir (delicious blend)

Fat Bastard Chardonnay (yes, it’s really called that)

Buitenverwachting Buiten Blanc (another delightful blend)

So imagine my delight when I discovered that the Haute Cabrière wine estate is a mere 10 minutes from Franschoek where Tara-Zee, Mr TZ and I would be holidaying earlier this year. I happily made the booking and on our first day in Franschoek, we made our way to lunch. We visited Cape Town, Stellenbosch and Franschoek at the end of July/beginning of August, a time of year that is characteristically cold and rainy. However, we had clearly brought good weather because we were in shorts and sandals. (Tara-Zee and I are ‘just-in-case’ packers. This was one of the rare occasions that it was worth it.)

We ate on their deck overlooking the mountain view. The meal was dee-vine. We started with a delicious beetroot pie (it tasted better than it sounds, I promise), had perfectly cooked lamb for mains and a pannacotta and chocolate dessert. 

But (everyone has one) I was let down… here’s why:

Firstly, the food was really, really good but it wasn’t as elegant as the other wine farms’ offerings.

Secondly, the three-course menu came with wine pairing. This is usually explained to you in great detail so that you get a sense of why the wine complements the meal so well (how am I doing for pretension right now?) and this didn’t happen. In fact, when Mr TZ asked a question, he was answered “I don’t know.” Hmm.

Thirdly, the wine was pricier than the cellar price. I realise there are reasons for this but at least don’t mark it up so obviously.

Fourthly, the ‘umbrella incident’.

The ‘umbrella incident’ involved a table of posh French tourists, two waiters and an incompetent manageress (do you also sense a joke somewhere in there?). There we were innocently finishing up our lunch (we’d just finished mains) when the French couple arrived. Their table sadly was not protected from the harsh sun by one of the big patio umbrellas like ours was. They complained. The two waiters then moved the nearest umbrella towards them to give them shade. Helpful and accommodating. Except by doing so they succeeded in moving the shade off of our table completely. Oops. Man, I have never seen three people scratch their heads so hard and try so many variations of ‘provide shade to the tables’. As funny as it was, it’s supposed to be a five-star restaurant and so was a little disappointing.

After all of that drama, we went in search of new wine estates to conquer. The mission was successful.

PS. If my top three wines are not on the menu, I order something else. The second cheapest, usually.

PPS. For the record, if you read my Pomodoro post, this is what Pannacotta should look like: 

I choose dinner

by Tilly

They say that having a gym buddy is good for motivation. That theory didn’t fly yesterday when upon meeting Tara-Zee in the gym parking lot, a unanimous decision was taken to get straight back into our cars and meet at the nearest restaurant. Hey, at least we made it to the parking lot.

“Shall we try something different?” I said. “Don’t be stupid,” Tara-Zee said. Why ruin a winning formula, right? You see, Tara-Zee and I have this ritual. It’s Friday, one of us has a wobbly at work, the other secretly thinks “Thank God it’s not me today” and off we go to lunch at Pomodoro at Morningside Shopping Centre. We order a l’insalate con pere e pecorino, la pizza con salame e carciofini, a one-litre bottle of sparkling water and glass of unwooded chardonnay (don’t tell the boss). All to share, of course. Of course.

But, no matter what Tara-Zee insisted, tonight was going to be different for a variety of reasons. Firstly, there were no available tables in the outside deck area, which meant that we were shown to a table next to the bustling waitron station. Secondly, it was a Tuesday evening and not Friday lunchtime, which meant that the waiters were all different. And thirdly, neither of us had had a wobbly that day.

In the spirit of mixing things up without really mixing anything up, we decided that instead of ordering our usual salami and artichoke pizza (10 points if you already figured out that’s what it was), we would order one of the specials. The conversation went like this:

Me: Should we order our usual pizza?

Tara-Zee: That ravioli sounded good.

Me: What ravioli?

Tara-Zee: The one that the waiter told us about.

Me: What waiter?

Tara-Zee: The waiter that came over and told us what the specials for the evening were.

Me: Oh. Where was I?

Tara-Zee: On Facebook again. Honestly, we may as well be married.

Me: Nah. We’d always be drinking. That wouldn’t be a healthy marriage.

Tara-Zee: So are we getting the ravioli?

Me: What’s in it?

Tara-Zee: Duck. And with a Cointreau sauce.

Me: I don’t want to drink and drive.

Tara-Zee: They burn the alcohol off, so I think it’ll be okay.

Me: Fine. Get that. But then I’m choosing the salad.

Tara-Zee: We’re getting a different salad?

We ended up getting the same salad (pear and pecorino with shaved almonds, yum) and ordered a glass of wine. The waiter seemed confused about the one-glass-of-wine-and-one-empty-wine-glass-thing and so decided to block it out of his mind. Thankfully, two other waiters, a salad and a plate with four pieces of duck-filled ravioli later, his memory was jogged and he plonked the glasses down (already shared out at the bar, excuse me) with a cheerful “No drinking and driving for youuuu”. Genius.

Since we had a whole glass of wine left to drink, we decided to really move away from the whole gym idea and order dessert. We ended up ordering two: la pannacotta con frutti di bosco, which was more of a berry and milky porridge in a bowl. If I were a judge on MasterChef I’d say: “Hmm. Seems your pannacotta hasn’t set properly.” But I’m not a judge on MC, so I ate it. It was nice and the kind of thing I’d eat alone on a Saturday night on the couch. The second dessert was Il torta alla mandorle, which was a nyummy almond tart on a bed of honey (so much of honey) with a side of gelato.

Dessert done, and wine glasses empty, we got that sudden ‘man, I’m tired. Let’s pay immediately and get home’ feeling, which was inconvenient for a restaurant with one bluetooth credit card machine (at least it’s bluetooth…). We eventually managed to pay the bill. (Which we split. Obviously.) Not a bad price for a classy restaurant and I usually don’t mind forking out at Pomodoro, but it was a little steep for an evening where:

a)      the salad leaves tasted a little like chlorine

b)      there were fewer almond shavings in the salad than usual

c)      the wine was only delivered to the table after dinner

d)     the pannacotta was runny and served in a bowl, and

e)      the chefs (visible kitchen) had moustaches for Movember (noble, but not so attractive, and thankfully over as of today).

Overall, though, I like Pomodoro and the manager is always visible and available if you are so inclined to complain. Tara-Zee and I will go back. And we will share a l’insalate con pere e pecorino. And a glass of unwooded chardonnay.

PS. It’s always me that has the wobbly.